Vivian "Thelma" Lance McGraw

vivian mcgraw

October 21, 1938 ~ December 31, 2025

Born in: Henderson County, North Carolina
Resided in: Fletcher, North Carolina

Vivian “Thelma” Lance McGraw, much-loved matriarch of the McGraw family, passed from her earthly life into Heaven on Wednesday, December 31, 2025 at The Lodge at Mills River Health and Rehabilitation.

She was born to Mayo M. Lance and Elsie Surrett Lance on October 21, 1938, in Henderson County. She was the youngest of their four children, and also had 10 older half-siblings. The family lived in Mills River and also on the family farm in Polk County, known affectionately as “Happy Holler.” She was a graduate of Mills River High School.

She was pre-deceased by her beloved husband of 67 years, Victor G. McGraw, in 2024. They had resided in Fletcher for most of their married life.
She spent her career at Brooks-Howell Home in Asheville, starting there as a temp employee. She was named Administrator in 1982, a position she dedicated herself to until her retirement in 2002. She often said that serving the residents of Brooks-Howell, who were retired Methodist missionaries and deaconesses, became a ministry. She was elected Administrator of the Year – Aging Section by the United Methodist Association of Health and Welfare Ministries in 1990. Her service later continued as a member of the Brooks-Howell Advisory Board.

Retirement allowed time for travel with her husband; they toured the country in motor homes for several years. Besides family, she loved flower gardening and feeding birds. She was a member of the Old Buncombe County Genealogical Society and did extensive research on the McGraw, Lance and Surrett families.

She was an active 43-year member of Skyland United Methodist Church. There, she was on a number of committees and Bible study groups.

She is survived by her brother, J. Burl Lance (Rhea) of Fletcher and her sister, Jean Conard of Hendersonville; children Nancy McGraw Hawkins (Rob), of Fletcher, Christopher Gary McGraw (Dana) of Arden, and Manning Victor McGraw (Laura), of Fletcher. She was a proud Grandmother to Cameron McGraw (Alexa) of Nashville, TN, Elizabeth McLemore (Christian) of Asheville, Ashley McGraw of Raleigh, Rebekah Hawkins of Fletcher, Victoria McGraw, Alexandria McGraw and Jacob McGraw, all of Fletcher. She loved her step-grandchildren and their families also, Carlos Diaz (Tina), Jaymon Diaz (Christine Abbott), Rachel Hawkins (David Gibson) and Sarah Hawkins (Austin Rathbone).

Beloved great-grandchildren are Brighette McGraw, Theo Ford McGraw, Evangeline McLemore and Laramie McLemore and step-great-grandchildren Isabella Diaz and Livinia Diaz Abbott.

The family would like to thank Kathleen Rush and Kari Kopp who provided loving care and companionship in the last year of her life. Sincere thanks also go to the administration and staff of The Lodge at Mills River for their care in the last five months of her life.

A Celebration of Life will be Saturday, January 10, at 2 p.m., in the sanctuary at Skyland United Methodist Church, 1984 Hendersonville Road, Asheville NC 28803. Family visitation and refreshments will follow in the fellowship hall.

Donations in remembrance of Thelma may be made to Around the Son Preschool at Skyland United Methodist Church or to the Old Buncombe County Genealogical Society.

Services

Memorial Service: January 10, 2026 2:00 pm

Skyland United Methodist Church
1984 Hendersonville Road
Asheville, NC 28803

(828) 684-7283
http://www.skylandumc.com

Visitation: January 10, 2026 3:00 pm

Skyland United Methodist Church
1984 Hendersonville Road
Asheville, NC 28803

(828) 684-7283
http://www.skylandumc.com

Funeral Home Assisting The Family:

Groce Funeral Home at Lake Julian
72 Long Shoals Road
Arden, NC 28704

(828)687-3530
http://grocefuneralhome.com

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Guestbook

  1. I’m so thankful that I was able to go see Aunt Thelma not too long ago at the lodge. We had the best visit and I only have wonderful memories of her!

  2. I’m sorry for your loss. I will keep y’all in my prayers!!
    Your Mom was always so kind and so pretty!! I always enjoyed chatting with her through Facebook.
    With love, Kandi

  3. My sincere Condolences to this wonderful family. Ms. Vivian was such a pleasure to me at the Lodge. Her presence is truly missed. But in getting to know her I know she is at Rest now with the Lord. Fly high Viv ! RIP my friend.
    Linda (Cna)

    Linda (CNA )

  4. To Thelma’s children and grandchildren. I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard to lose both parents so close. She was indeed the glue that keep our Lance reunions together. The obituary was beautifully written. My prayers are with you. If there is a link for livestream of service I would like it.

  5. So sorry to hear of the loss of cousin Thelma and thankful for the chances to meet her at the 4L (Lance) Reunions and at the Old Buncombe County Genealogical Society.

  6. Chris and family: So sorry for your loss. Loosing a mom is very hard and I want you to know I share your pain. I’m praying for peace and strength for you to get through this. Chris, if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. Your co-worker for a LONG time…. Chel

  7. So very sorry to hear of Thelma’s passing. We are so glad we were able to visit with her on our last visit to NC in October. Sending thoughts and prayers to the McGraw family.

  8. I did not know Ms. McGraw, as I work with her son, Chris. But I know she was very proud of Chris, as he is a gentleman and a very nice person. I know family is very important to Chris. Sorry for your loss.

  9. Alice and I attended church with Thelma and Vic; Alice participated in Circle and other activities with her; and I served for a number of years on the board of Brooks Howell Home during Thelma’s tenure as administrator. We always appreciated Thelma’s warm, delightful personality, her leadership characteristics, and we recognized her love for and pride in her family. I served on the board of Brooks Howell for a number of years while Thelma was administrator. During this time, I recognized her admirable leadership skills, staff development capability, and her obvious love and concern for the residents of the Home. This was foremost and her every action and endeavor as administrator was always taken to ensure the best outcomes for the Home and its residents and staff. Thelma’s leadership qualities were worthy of emulation. Alice and I are deeply saddened by Thelma’s passing, but have a wealth of warm memories to comfort us. We extend our deepest sympathy to the family as you mourn her passing. Alice and I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.


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